Harvard professor: Elon Musk once told me to 'get out' during a meeting—here's how I won him over

The conventional wisdom is that high achievers are go-getters; they succeed because they're eager to get out there and show others how much value they can bring.

But what's often overlooked is that we sometimes don't even have the opportunity to do so. After years of researching how the most successful people turn adversity into advantage, I've found that the ability to "delight" is the key to opening doors.

But delight is much more than just bringing others joy or gratification. At the crux of delight is a component that most people miss: Delight is in the unexpected.

Delight makes people pay attention

A few years ago, Byron, a close friend and collaborator of mine, attended a university commencement in which Elon Musk was giving a speech. Being the go-getter he is, not data-test="Pullquote">Byron and I were set up to lose, but 'delight' was the spark that intrigued Musk and convinced him to let us stay.

That's when I noticed it: Musk's eyes weren't>Mastering the art of delight

Not all of us are naturally gifted with the ability to delight. But it can be mastered with deliberate practice:

• Do something unexpected. The best way to pacify skepticism that others may feel about you is to surprise them with spontaneity — in a memorable and engaging way.
• Don't overprepare. While there's value in being prepared, doing it with rigidness won't get you very far. In fact, it can actually prevent the kind of natural conversations that allow you to connect with and delight the other person.
• Work with what you have. Much of delighting is done when you're engaging with others in an authentic way. Use your existing context to hone your quick reflexes and help you with the delivery.
• Immerse yourself in delight. Seek out people, products and situations that you consider delightful. Consciously pinpoint what makes them delightful to you. This will help you develop and refine your own style of delighting.
• Use authentic humor. Don't confuse delighting with schmoozing. To delight is to genuinely engage and offer a playful, "in-the-moment" response. In fact, people who show a sense of humor at work are perceived as being warmer and more competent than those who don't.
• Know and pay attention to your audience. Have a deep understanding of the circumstances and backdrop of the position — and place — you're in. This may take time to develop, but it's what allowed me to recognize that Musk saw Byron and me as just two scrappy entrepreneurs trying to sell him a product.

When we delight, we violate perceptions, but in a benign way. Delight unsettles and challenges beliefs about your context. It grabs the attention of powerful people and opens doors to enormous opportunities.